Thursday, September 20, 2012

Why I'm a Deadbeat Mother.

This is something seriously going viral right now. A picture that was meant to unify mothers seems to be completely tearing them apart because of the C word. (And no, I don't mean the one that refers to female anatomy, I mean the much more controversial topic concerning the male anatomy.) This was taken to new heights by many commenters on one of my favourite blogger's Facebook pages. After so many missed the point and insisted on calling other mothers 'deadbeats', 'sexual abusers' and even 'pedophiles' because of a choice they made for their sons, Jen at Life with Levi took matters into her own hands and posted a list of reasons she was a 'Crappy Mom'. Well it turns out that if that's the definition of a deadbeat parent, I fit the bill. So here's a list of my own as to why I'm a crappy mom.


1. I pumped for 6 months exclusively after my son was born and wouldn't breast feed after a NICU stay to assure he had the best start. After my supply gave out I fed him Organic Formula only for the following 6 months.

2. I stopped working after getting mastitis so I could be a stay at home mom.

3. My son is circumcised. If I had another boy I honestly can't tell you if I would do it again or not.

4. I follow a delayed immunization schedule for both of my children.

5. I cloth diaper most of the time. Sometimes I use disposables because I'm tired of cloth or because overnight cloth diapering gives me son ammonia burns despite stripping them like crazy.

6. My son, who is 2, is still rear facing. He will stay rear facing until he maxes out his car seat's limits.

7. I leave dishes in the sink when I'm too tired to deal with them.

8. We don't eat at the table, we don't eat in a high chair, we eat where ever in the house whenever, and sometimes even while watching TV.

9. We don't have a schedule. Daddy goes to school and doesn't get home until after midnight and sometimes it's easier to just let my toddler stay up to say goodnight then fight him to go to sleep.

10. We co-sleep. Still. We have always co-slept. Every attempt to move my son to a crib before now has never worked so we co-sleep because it's easier.

11. I used to swear my kids would only eat organic, but the older they get the less I find myself enforcing it.

12. I let my son play in the sprinklers and drink from the hose.

13. I've been known to hide in my room with the door locked to eat cookies in silence.

14. As much as I want to nurture my child's mind, we don't read books every day.

15. At 29 months we still haven't even really considered potty training.

16. Sometimes it's easier to turn on the TV to distract the kids when I need down time.

17. I don't always clean off the pacifier after it's fallen on the floor.

18. I don't make my son wash his hands before he eats.

19. I go all day and only eat after everyone else is in bed because I'm too busy making sure they are all getting food and cared for.

20. I spank my son when he's misbehaving. Not often and normally after I've asked him to stop doing something at least 10 times first and he still ignores me.

21. Despite trying very hard, I curse and sometimes he repeats it. We're working really hard on that one.

22. I baby wear. In an ergo, sometimes a moby, and sometimes I don't leave the car seat in the car and just carry my daughter in her bucket seat.

23. Letting my son eat 5 cups of mandarin oranges is easier than trying to force him to eat something else for variety sake.

24. Sometimes I laugh at my son when he falls down instead of rushing to make sure he's ok. If he's hurt he'll come to me, but often he manages to trip in the most hilarious ways possible.

25. I kiss my daughter at least 20 times a day and eat her toes because it makes her smile.

26. I hug my son at least once a day.

27. And when everything has gone wrong, when the day has sucked, when I feel like crap, when there's no money in the bank account, no gas in the car, and life seems like it's too hard to take, all I need to do is look at these two beautiful faces who call me Mommy, who are well nourished and joyful, who smile and laugh, and know that even if we have nothing, they will always have everything they need. Because I will go hungry before they do. I will go thirsty before they do. I will go threadbare and shoeless before they do. I will give every last cent and every last piece of me to assure that they have everything they need before I even look to myself. Because I am their mother and I will not fail them.

So are you a deadbeat Mom too? :)



1 comment:

Deanna said...

You are my long, lost twin sister...minus the NICU stay & the baby girl. My baby girl is 17. :o But seriously, almost EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of those post sounded like you were describing me. I LOVE being a crappy mom! Lol Well said mama!!! Well said!

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