This is something seriously going viral right now. A picture that was meant to unify mothers seems to be completely tearing them apart because of the C word. (And no, I don't mean the one that refers to female anatomy, I mean the much more controversial topic concerning the male anatomy.) This was taken to new heights by many commenters on one of my favourite blogger's Facebook pages. After so many missed the point and insisted on calling other mothers 'deadbeats', 'sexual abusers' and even 'pedophiles' because of a choice they made for their sons, Jen at Life with Levi took matters into her own hands and posted a list of reasons she was a 'Crappy Mom'. Well it turns out that if that's the definition of a deadbeat parent, I fit the bill. So here's a list of my own as to why I'm a crappy mom.
1. I pumped for 6 months exclusively after my son was born and wouldn't breast feed after a NICU stay to assure he had the best start. After my supply gave out I fed him Organic Formula only for the following 6 months.
2. I stopped working after getting mastitis so I could be a stay at home mom.
3. My son is circumcised. If I had another boy I honestly can't tell you if I would do it again or not.
4. I follow a delayed immunization schedule for both of my children.
5. I cloth diaper most of the time. Sometimes I use disposables because I'm tired of cloth or because overnight cloth diapering gives me son ammonia burns despite stripping them like crazy.
6. My son, who is 2, is still rear facing. He will stay rear facing until he maxes out his car seat's limits.
7. I leave dishes in the sink when I'm too tired to deal with them.
8. We don't eat at the table, we don't eat in a high chair, we eat where ever in the house whenever, and sometimes even while watching TV.
9. We don't have a schedule. Daddy goes to school and doesn't get home until after midnight and sometimes it's easier to just let my toddler stay up to say goodnight then fight him to go to sleep.
10. We co-sleep. Still. We have always co-slept. Every attempt to move my son to a crib before now has never worked so we co-sleep because it's easier.
11. I used to swear my kids would only eat organic, but the older they get the less I find myself enforcing it.
12. I let my son play in the sprinklers and drink from the hose.
13. I've been known to hide in my room with the door locked to eat cookies in silence.
14. As much as I want to nurture my child's mind, we don't read books every day.
15. At 29 months we still haven't even really considered potty training.
16. Sometimes it's easier to turn on the TV to distract the kids when I need down time.
17. I don't always clean off the pacifier after it's fallen on the floor.
18. I don't make my son wash his hands before he eats.
19. I go all day and only eat after everyone else is in bed because I'm too busy making sure they are all getting food and cared for.
20. I spank my son when he's misbehaving. Not often and normally after I've asked him to stop doing something at least 10 times first and he still ignores me.
21. Despite trying very hard, I curse and sometimes he repeats it. We're working really hard on that one.
22. I baby wear. In an ergo, sometimes a moby, and sometimes I don't leave the car seat in the car and just carry my daughter in her bucket seat.
23. Letting my son eat 5 cups of mandarin oranges is easier than trying to force him to eat something else for variety sake.
24. Sometimes I laugh at my son when he falls down instead of rushing to make sure he's ok. If he's hurt he'll come to me, but often he manages to trip in the most hilarious ways possible.
25. I kiss my daughter at least 20 times a day and eat her toes because it makes her smile.
26. I hug my son at least once a day.
27. And when everything has gone wrong, when the day has sucked, when I feel like crap, when there's no money in the bank account, no gas in the car, and life seems like it's too hard to take, all I need to do is look at these two beautiful faces who call me Mommy, who are well nourished and joyful, who smile and laugh, and know that even if we have nothing, they will always have everything they need. Because I will go hungry before they do. I will go thirsty before they do. I will go threadbare and shoeless before they do. I will give every last cent and every last piece of me to assure that they have everything they need before I even look to myself. Because I am their mother and I will not fail them.
So are you a deadbeat Mom too? :)
A Work at Home Mom and Military Wife's Story
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Wild & Wicked- A Jenn Nixon Novella
A long time ago, in a galaxy-... wait wait. Even this introduction isn't quite right but that's beside the point. Many moons ago (years, whatever passing of time reference you'd like to apply to this works) I was involved in some silly Geekery. That's right folks, I'm a geek. Just thought you all should know. I'm into all kinds of Sci-Fi and Fantasy things. Books, movies, games, RPGs... the list goes on but I'm not embarrassed by it at all. Everyone has their niches after all and mine is the world of the Geek. I go total fan girl over certain things and can be quite intolerable sometimes but most manage to love me anyway, even when I'm hitting their arm excitedly in the movie theatres as a preview for (insert totally awesome film like the newest Star Trek) comes on the screen and a squeal somewhere in the only-dogs-can-hear-me register emits from my being. I've embraced many Geek moments with pure gusto; like watching Return of the King on opening night as Eowyn holds up her sword, removes her helmet and says "I am no man." Every woman in that theatre stood up and did a fist pump in the air while screaming YES! proudly. I was one of them.
I've gone off track horribly now so lets get back on subject. Many moons, galaxies, times, earth cycles, whichever ago I was involved in a pretty sweet RP (Role Playing Game, for those of you that don't know kind of picture a sci-fi version of Dugeons & Dragons) where I met Jenn Nixon. A fantastic writer not only in our RP games but also in book form. Recently she's had a lot of luck in the publishing world so I'm here to introduce you to Miss Nixon and have her tell you a little about her newest Novella Wild & Wicked coming out May 15th! It's a bit of a naughty read so there's no excerpts from the book posted here but there is a juicy blurb about the book itself. ;) Enjoy!
How I came to write my novella: Funny story about Wild & Wicked…while querying another book to publishers, I was fortunate enough to get two yeses, TWO days apart! I accepted publication with the first publisher and emailed the second to let them know. They kindly offered me the chance to submit shorts to them for publication and since I had this steamier idea rolling around in my head for about six months, I decided to actually write it. I submitted it a few months later and they said yes again!
The novella process was a totally new experience for me. I loved every minute of it and surprised myself in the end with a novella that I really, really love. So much so that I had to write a sequel to it!
Blurb: Veronica Chance’s sister has gone missing. In order to find Valerie, “Roni” takes a waitressing job at Foxxes Gentlemen’s Club, the last place her sister worked, to search for clues. First day on the job, the club owner makes her give a lap dance to his VIP guest, Mr. Storm. Veronica’s instant attraction to him spells trouble and threatens to blow her cover.
Former detective Mason Storm can’t deny the connection he feels for the wild and mysterious Roni. During the lap dance, he learns about her missing sister, offers his help, only to be rejected. Not ready to give up, he confronts her again, adding in the fact he’s seen her sister in the club, but she denies him once more.
When Veronica calls, acting rather strangely, Storm finds her at the club, drugged and giving a lap dance to a kid at an illegal after party. Grateful for the help, Veronica comes clean about who she is, and accepts Storm’s offer to help. Together, they unravel the clues surrounding Valerie’s disappearance, uncover the horrible truth behind the illegal after parties, all the while exploring and succumbing to their lustful desires for each other.
Jenn Nixon resides in New Jersey. She is a member of Romance Writers of America and Liberty State Fiction Writers. Her love for thrillers and suspense often finds its way into her novels whether they are Science Fiction or Romance. When not writing, Jenn spends her free time reading, absorbing pop culture and current events, and social networking online.
Wild & Wicked from Tease Publishing – May 15th 2011
Visit Jenn Nixon online: www.jennnixon.com or:
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Paci Fashion Featurette
So not to long ago I was in great search of some universal pacicifer clips that weren't going to cost a fortune for ONE clip! I use MAM Pacifiers and they can be some what difficult to find clips for that actually stay PUT! The ones MAM makes are great, but the plastic clip is super easy for my baby to pull off resulting in full on pacifier AND clip loss. Losing pacifiers in the house to the Mysterious Paci Eating Monster is one thing, losing them in public because my clip failed and there's no back ups in my bag is another.
Here's the metal clip I've been talking about. The top flips up to open and back down to secure it. So far the little rascal hasn't been able to yank these suckers off a bib yet!!
I'd found one that I really liked at BabiesRUs that my Mum bought for us on one occassion and it was everything I was looking for. A metal clip that won't budge and a tie on end that made it compatible with everything. What I did not like was the PRICE! 10 dollars for ONE clip!? That's crazy talk!! But it worked so a few weeks later I went to buy more because I wanted to be able to interchange and color match etc, they were completely out.
Annoyed I went home and did an online search. The next I stumbled on was the ZDaisy Bungie Clip with a price point of $11.99. Are you kidding me!? It amazes me what companies can get away charging for things when they're either Baby or Wedding related. It's crazy to me! So on with the search. It didn't take me long to stumble upon Paci Fashion Q Luv It Designs. These had EVERYTHING I was looking for in a Paci!! A tie off end that wasn't just a piece of tiny ribbon I was afraid would break, a metal clip that meant my paci was going to STAY where I put it, and best of all ADORABLE DESIGNS!!!
Here's the metal clip I've been talking about. The top flips up to open and back down to secure it. So far the little rascal hasn't been able to yank these suckers off a bib yet!!
Fantastically enough these clips are removable from these Paci Straps so if you felt so inclined you can trade them out for other straps without having a clip for every strap!!
These are the kinds of tie offs I like. They're durable and not going to break. Thin itty bitty baby ribbon kinds make me feel like they would.
My son sporting my FAVOURITE clip! :) It has skulls on it, of course it's my favourite!!
An example of some of the fantastic prints and colours she has!!! The best part? A single clip cost $3.99. A two pack is $7.49 and Q Luv it Designs also has packages in sets of threes AND fives to save you more money! :) I think I spent a total of $25.00 on 7 clips! If I had bothered to get that many of the ZDaisy ones I would've been over $70 in the hole!
Apparently they're also fantastic to chew on!!!
Here's one more cool thing I have NEVER seen before!! Paci Tie Clips. Oh. My. Gosh!! I haven't bought one yet but I absolutely cannot WAIT to!! You can find them here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/qluvitdesigns?section_id=6570547 (Image borrowed from Q Luv It Designs Etsy!)
So all in all!! A wonderful clip in lots of super cute and fashionable designs at a really great steal of a price!!
Monday, March 21, 2011
RumpaRooz vs Blueberry Covers
Instantly the first time I put my new RumpaRooz cover on my son for night time I noticed something I didn't like. The fit. I have some what of a chunky boy, not very, but a little and fit is a huge problem for us with a lot of diaper sometimes. The RaR fit SMALL. I was disappointed. Where I can occasionally snap down my Blueberry cover to the medium setting depending on what prefold and doubler combinations I have going on under the diaper, there is NO WAY I could have done that with my RaR cover. I used my smallest bulk night time solution when I tried it the first time, very disappointing.
The following pictures are side by side (or on-top of) comparison pictures of a Giraffe Prints Blueberry Coverall and a Whale Tale RumpaRooz Cover.
Here you can see the RaR on-top of my Blueberry, it's a little smaller but there's more elastic in different areas than the Blueberry. While this is handy for keeping more messes in the front, it also means I have to stretch it against my son's tummy and back which means it'll cut in more when I try to get the right fit as opposed to my Blueberry cover where I snap and we're good to go without stretching.
Here is where I discovered it's very difficult to stretch two articles as far as they can while try to take a picture as well. I used the clip from my son's paci clip to hold them together, put my foot on one end, stretched with one hand and took the picture with my other. It was an amusing image I'm sure. Basically what I discovered though is that if you stretch the RaR ALL THE WAY it is the SAME SIZE along the front as the Blueberry cover!!
Leg gussets, they're bigger on the Blueberry. There's at least 1/3 more fabric to the 'height' of the Blueberry inner gusset as there is to the RaR one. You can also see in this picture that unstretched the Blueberry gussets are longer than the RaR. This circles back to my earlier comment that it's great when it stretches but if I have to stretch it sooo far to get the right fit on my son that it cuts INTO my son, we have a problem.
Side by side comparison of the Blueberry and RaR covers on the LARGEST setting next to each other.
And now on TOP of each other!!
Comparison of the smallest setting on top of each other. This is where the RaR could come in handy for an itty bitty baby. It would definitely be able to fit your trimmer or smaller baby better than the Blueberry.
Smallest setting side by side!
Here's something else nifty I noticed!! The Blueberry's snaps (Of which there are 10 for waist and thigh as opposed to RaR's 8) are slightly off set between the two rows allowing more adjust-ability between thigh and waist. Someone at Blueberry got it right when they realized that thighs don't fall the same as the waist when they did it and I love that!! They designed it TO BE SET on different ones and even helped you out a little! :)
Here's an image where you can see both snap rows. It's difficult to tell due to angles and my not having 8 hands to take the pictures the way I'd REALLY like to, but the first and second row of snaps on the RaR cover line up where Blueberry's are slightly off.
Booty Elastic between these two diapers is almost identical! They have about the same amount of stretch to them when pulled. If there's a difference it's undetectable by me.
So my sum up of everything is that the Blueberry Cover, for me, is better. For a chunkier baby it works the best. RaR has something going for it with the belly elastic but personally I'm not a fan of it at all. Having to pull it along with everywhere else to get the fit I need makes putting it on my darling a little more difficult. Neither cover leaked at night, which I was very happy about, but all in all the RaR just isn't going to cut it. Maybe if Liam was younger or not quite so chunky we'd be good to go so this would be an excellent cover for someone with a petite and trim Little One, but I think I dislike it enough to include it in my next Destash. I need roomy and roomy it is not! :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
Things I Can't Do
I can't do sad songs or some very random things while my husband is deployed. The silliest things make me start to choke up. Daddy's with their kids out and about is a recent one. If someone is crying on TV I get teary. (I still don't know what's up with that one, that started while I was pregnant!) I can't do shows like Coming Home, I cried the entire preview commercial I saw for it. Yes it's a happy occasion for these people but for me it's just a reminder that our own homecoming is a long way off still and it's entirely a possibility that we won't have one.
I know it may sound pessimistic to those of you who aren't related to military in some way but to those of us who are it's more just a fact of life. You never really think you'll be 21 the first time you have to talk to your husband about what they'd like their funeral arrangements to be. I know for a fact 21 wasn't when my husband thought he'd be having to think about it either. I remember days before he left for the first deployment he went on having to cover this situation and all I could do was try to crack jokes. They were some morbid jokes to say the least, but it's the only way I could cope with the situation at the time.
I can't watch the news. It bothers me to hear about all the conflicts going on, not just in the area my husband is serving in but everywhere. It's a fact that you'll worry ten times more than you normally would too if you try to keep up with the current affairs in the area you're husband is in. Every little thing will have you wondering if they're ok. Needless to say I have NO idea what is going on in the News world while he's gone and whenever someone tries to ask me about something I'm usually clueless. What little news I do receive is via military communities and some of it is extremely heartbreaking.
There's sort of a fall of how certain things work though and how you feel about them. When you're Military, ANY branch of military, you're this giant family. You knock each other all the time, wrestle and argue, but when it's time to get down to business you have each other's backs. It's easy to have an instant camaraderie with someone once you find out you're both involved some way. The other branches are sort of like your cousins, you don't always have to like them but you've got to recognize that you're related. Your branch, it's like your more immediate family, aunts and uncles and the like, the people you have a close relationship to. Your job field and more specifically your unit, those are your brothers and sisters.
When something happens to the cousins you don't really know or talk to, you get upset. When something happens to your aunts and uncles you get heartbroken. And when something happens to your brothers and sisters you feel a great sense of loss.
The shootings that happened recently in Germany were a great example of these stages for me. Finding out that individuals from the US Military were involved was upsetting to me but not something I would necessarily dwell over. Just something I would accept with sadness. Finding out they were Air Force, 'my' branch, was heartbreaking because instantly the possibility of knowing those involved increases a little. Finding out they were from my husband's career field put me and many other wives I know on edge. Instantly you're waiting to see if your phone will ring, waiting for the names to be released, just to see if you know who anyone might be. The realization that that could have been your own husband there makes it worse. It makes it hit closer to home and it's like feeling the bullet whiz by without hitting you. My heart hurts for the wife and families of Senior Airman Nicholas J. Alden and Airman 1st Class Zachary R. Cuddeback.
And while this is how it feels with a situation I could easily call a 'near miss', I can't even begin to imagine how it would feel to be the one getting the bad news. I am terrified of men in Blues coming to my door. When I first got married and was living in base housing I was woken by the door one day by two people in ABUs, and while I had just gotten out of the bed my husband was still laying in I have to admit my heart stopped for a moment when I opened the door. It took me a moment to process that A) These people weren't in Blues and B) My husband was asleep in bed, but you can see how it sits with me. I've had some of my husband's co-worker pop by the house while in uniform and have seriously yelled at them for scaring me. They think it's hilarious, obviously me? Not so much.
But since I'm talking about all the things I can't do, I'll try to end this on a more positive note. There are a few things I can do: I can miss him with all my heart and love him with all my heart so that when he comes home it feels like the deployment wasn't as long as I thought and instantly just becomes a faded memory. I can cherish every phone call, letter, and email enough that it almost feels like he's not so far away. And I can love our children enough that they will lack for no love while he is gone.
Please say a prayer for SrA Alden and A1C Cuddeback's families tonight.
Defensor Fortis.
I know it may sound pessimistic to those of you who aren't related to military in some way but to those of us who are it's more just a fact of life. You never really think you'll be 21 the first time you have to talk to your husband about what they'd like their funeral arrangements to be. I know for a fact 21 wasn't when my husband thought he'd be having to think about it either. I remember days before he left for the first deployment he went on having to cover this situation and all I could do was try to crack jokes. They were some morbid jokes to say the least, but it's the only way I could cope with the situation at the time.
I can't watch the news. It bothers me to hear about all the conflicts going on, not just in the area my husband is serving in but everywhere. It's a fact that you'll worry ten times more than you normally would too if you try to keep up with the current affairs in the area you're husband is in. Every little thing will have you wondering if they're ok. Needless to say I have NO idea what is going on in the News world while he's gone and whenever someone tries to ask me about something I'm usually clueless. What little news I do receive is via military communities and some of it is extremely heartbreaking.
There's sort of a fall of how certain things work though and how you feel about them. When you're Military, ANY branch of military, you're this giant family. You knock each other all the time, wrestle and argue, but when it's time to get down to business you have each other's backs. It's easy to have an instant camaraderie with someone once you find out you're both involved some way. The other branches are sort of like your cousins, you don't always have to like them but you've got to recognize that you're related. Your branch, it's like your more immediate family, aunts and uncles and the like, the people you have a close relationship to. Your job field and more specifically your unit, those are your brothers and sisters.
When something happens to the cousins you don't really know or talk to, you get upset. When something happens to your aunts and uncles you get heartbroken. And when something happens to your brothers and sisters you feel a great sense of loss.
The shootings that happened recently in Germany were a great example of these stages for me. Finding out that individuals from the US Military were involved was upsetting to me but not something I would necessarily dwell over. Just something I would accept with sadness. Finding out they were Air Force, 'my' branch, was heartbreaking because instantly the possibility of knowing those involved increases a little. Finding out they were from my husband's career field put me and many other wives I know on edge. Instantly you're waiting to see if your phone will ring, waiting for the names to be released, just to see if you know who anyone might be. The realization that that could have been your own husband there makes it worse. It makes it hit closer to home and it's like feeling the bullet whiz by without hitting you. My heart hurts for the wife and families of Senior Airman Nicholas J. Alden and Airman 1st Class Zachary R. Cuddeback.
And while this is how it feels with a situation I could easily call a 'near miss', I can't even begin to imagine how it would feel to be the one getting the bad news. I am terrified of men in Blues coming to my door. When I first got married and was living in base housing I was woken by the door one day by two people in ABUs, and while I had just gotten out of the bed my husband was still laying in I have to admit my heart stopped for a moment when I opened the door. It took me a moment to process that A) These people weren't in Blues and B) My husband was asleep in bed, but you can see how it sits with me. I've had some of my husband's co-worker pop by the house while in uniform and have seriously yelled at them for scaring me. They think it's hilarious, obviously me? Not so much.
But since I'm talking about all the things I can't do, I'll try to end this on a more positive note. There are a few things I can do: I can miss him with all my heart and love him with all my heart so that when he comes home it feels like the deployment wasn't as long as I thought and instantly just becomes a faded memory. I can cherish every phone call, letter, and email enough that it almost feels like he's not so far away. And I can love our children enough that they will lack for no love while he is gone.
Please say a prayer for SrA Alden and A1C Cuddeback's families tonight.
Defensor Fortis.
Friday, February 25, 2011
CuteyBaby Diaper Review
So after a few weeks of testing and using these diaper (I have two) in my cloth rotation there are several things I like and one thing I really dislike about this brand. I'm going to go through all the features so you all can see, however here is a quick run down on them from the CuteyBaby website! :)
One of CuteyBaby's main features is the attached insert. This insert stuffs easily into the elasticized inner and stops you from having to figure out which insert came with what diaper. I don't know about anyone else but I have NO idea which micro-terry inserts belong to what diaper anymore because very few companies actually label their inserts. Charlie Banana and FuzziBunz are two of the only ones I know of out of what I own.
The attached insert is also two separate layers, very similar to Kickernappies LoopyDo and SuperDo inserts which means extra fast drying for YOU! This insert is very absorbent and very soft. (I'm talking rub on your face soft even after several washings!)
This is just a picture of the inside and how the insert looks while stuffed. It's also easy to add additional inserts and doublers to maximize your absorbency if you want to. The other wonderful thing about having the elasticized inner is you don't have to unstuff to wash! The insert just falls out while washing so no dirty hands! It also acts like gussets so that messes are more inclined to stay IN the diaper!
Despite the looped insert the diaper still fits pretty trim which is nice. I myself am NOT a fan of the bulk.
Another feature I really like is the hip snap which helps customize the fit of the diaper even more. This diaper is a Large for babies 20-40lbs and the hip snap is what really makes it able to fit my 22lbs chubber. :)
Do you hate diaper chains? CuteyBaby has added REMOVABLE velcro to completely eliminate the diaper chain. Unfortunately this is where we start to run into problems with this diaper. Either the velcro square isn't large enough or it's just a flawed design but I have several problems with it.
The tabs end up sitting fine but you can see on the right side how it isn't quite laying flat against the body of the diaper. This drives me nuts. I am constantly redoing the closure trying to get it to sit right so that it doesn't bother me while my son squirms and gets frustrated that I'm taking so long to get him back to playing.
THIS is what it looked like after just FIVE MINUTES of my son moving around and playing. The diaper is still securely on. That velcro isn't going anywhere and it's a little hard to get it off when you're getting ready to put it in the pail, however I want it to lay flat and despite my best efforts it never ever does. If you can live with this then I'm sure these diapers will more than please you, I'm just picky I guess. :)
All in all I love the diaper but the fact that the tabs don't lay flat is going to be it's down fall. I'll be sending them both out in the next few weeks to have them Snap Converted to solve the problem. Then I don't have to worry about diaper chains OR removable velcro giving me a hard time. However these have made it through the two hour naps and then some of a 10 month old who's crawling, moving, and shaking with no leaks. Frankly anything that doesn't leak is good in my book!
****** Additional Info: Because the question of how to get your diapers snap converted has come up, I'll cover that here really quick. You can do them yourself if you have the tools to do so and feel comfortable with it. I don't have a snap press personally but I know some really GREAT Work at Home Moms who snap convert diapers for a living! :) One of my favourites is Lauren's Little Lovies.
You can find her on Facebook here: http://www.facebook.com/LaurensLittleLovies1
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